Sunday, August 26, 2007

How to deal with a Bridezilla

Don't let this be you!

I've met a lot of Bridezilla's. Some I never want to see again. Some were very sweet gals who just had a moment. A Zilla needs to be stopped in their tracks. She needs to solve her real or perceived problem before she's totally out of control and leaves no one standing in her wake.

Bridezilla wants everything to be perfect. No wedding is perfect, nothing is perfect. Things can and will go wrong. No one will ever notice the small details at the wedding that you believe is horribly wrong. Trust me on this, I've been in the wedding business for 30 years.

Bridezilla NEEDS to be in complete charge of every detail. It's not about the wedding, its about the marriage. If you spend all your time focusing on the wedding and not the groom, its a red flag that you are more interested in going through the process of wedding planning than being married to that man. Step back and reassess your priorities. Could it be you really don't want to get married? Or you don't want to marry him?

It's not all about you. It's also about the groom, your family and friends. Yes, its your day, but its not all about you. It's not the time to one up your friends and their weddings. Its not a time to show off and have a "better" wedding. A wedding is a ceremony and a party. Period.

How to deal with your Bridezilla:

  • Nicely let them know that you've noticed there is a problem and their behavior is making it difficult for others around her. Let them know you are there for them and you are there to help. Define the problem and set up a plan to solve the problem. Do NOT join her in a rant against a tux store, caterer, etc. Don't allow yourself to get sucked into her battles.

  • A Bridezilla needs reassurance. She may be insecure and she may feel helpless. She needs you to let her know that everything will be fine, that she made the right wedding choices and that her first impulses are correct. When she starts second guessing herself, jokingly tell her to snap out of it or you'll buy her the t shirt.

  • Offer to help her with her wedding chores. It may be just a matter of helping her get organized. My experience shows that a lot of disorganized brides are Bridezilla's because they are stressed.
  • Have a long heart to heart talk. Ask her why she is so upset and lashing out at people. You can sometimes diffuse a Bridezilla by just talking her down and reassuring her. Let her know you love her and that you support her. Sympathize with her. She may just be so stressed out that she blows up.

  • Offer to spend time with her so she can destress and get away from wedding planning. A yoga class, a walk in the park, a massage at a salon, going to a chick flick matinee, a girls night out, lunch, a day trip, shopping, etc. Rule number one, no wedding talk.

  • Speak to her fiance, but do NOT accuse her of being a Bridezilla! Let him know in a nonaccussing way that she's stressed over the wedding and hatch a plan with him to take her away from wedding planning stress. It could be something like a picnic in the park or a trip to a nearby beach.

  • As a last resort, suggest she visit her doctor and discuss her anxiety. It is abnormal to be completely stressed out 24/7. Some anxiety is normal, but when its out of control, please get your friend to talk to her doctor.
If you are wondering if YOU could be a Bridezila, take the test and find out!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Are you a Maidzilla? A bad bridesmaid? Take the test.

Are you a Maidzilla? A bad bridesmaid?

A Maidzilla is a BAD bridesmaid. A Maidzilla mob is a group of bad bridesmaids. She's ticked off about something and everyone knows it. She's not used to sharing the spotlight. It should be all about her, but this person called the bride is getting all the attention. She's spending a lot of money, and she's not happy. Could you be a maidzilla? Take the test below to find out!

The Maidzilla test:

  • Are you constantly complaining to the bride about the wedding?

  • Do you dislike the groom? Have you told her?

  • Do you hate the bridesmaid dress?

  • Did you hold up the entire wedding party because you "just couldn't get around to order your dress"?

  • Do you hate the color of the dress?

  • Have you told everyone you'll never wear this ugly dress again?

  • Have you complained about the price of the dress?

  • Are you ticked off at the size of your dress you've had to order?

  • Are you upset you have to pay for alterations?

  • Are you angry that you've had to buy shoes or a bra for the dress?

  • Have you complained or caused a scene about the price, color, size you need to order or cost of alterations, etc. in the bridal salon?

  • Does the bridal salon staff hide when you come into the store?

  • Has the bridal salon had to call the bride regarding your behavior or not showing up for appointments?

  • Is the bride apologizing for your behavior?

  • Have you argued with the bride over any aspect of her wedding?

  • Have you threatened to back out of the wedding?

  • Has the bride had to pay for some of your personal expenses related to her wedding?

  • Have you told friends you dislike the bride's dress, wedding theme, etc?

  • Are you angry or refusing to take part in the wedding shower for the bride?

  • Have you told people that you don't know WHY she NEEDS a bridal shower because they've been living together and already have household items?

  • Are you angry about or refusing to take part in the bachelorette party?

  • Are you upset that you aren't in charge of planning the shower or bachelorette party?

  • Are you constantly complaining about your personal wedding expenses while carrying an authentic designer handbag?

  • Have you told the bride that you REFUSE to have your hair or makeup done unless you approve the person doing it?

  • Have you told the bride you refuse to get your hair or makeup done unless it suits your schedule?

  • Do you expect the bride to pay for your hair, nails and makeup?

  • Do you owe the bride money?

  • Are you avoiding helping the bride with wedding tasks?

  • Has the bride, her mother or her fiance spoken to you about your behavior?

  • Have you complained about the groomsman who is your partner in the wedding? Do you think you should have been paired with someone "hotter"?

Next question is based on whether you are married or single:

  • If you are married: Do you constantly talk about your wedding and how you did things and how much better it was than this wedding?
  • If you are single: Do you constantly talk about how much better your wedding will be..and how the bride "stole" your ideas?

For each yes, its one point.

7 points and under: You're a normal bridesmaid. You probably dislike the dress and probably won't ever wear it again. But, you're a good friend and that's what good friends do...wear the dress and smile. When its your turn to be the bride you'll get to pick what THEY wear. ;) You realize its an honor to be asked to be in the wedding and you are happy to oblige with a minimum of grumbling.

8 to 15 points: Mini Maidzilla in the making. You aren't happy about this wedding and can't keep it bottled up inside all the time. Maybe complaining is just in your nature. Maybe you think your friend is making a mistake and you are afraid to save her. Maybe you are a bit in love with her fiance, can't understand how she got so lucky and are jealous. Whatever the reason, take a chill pill and be happy for the bride.

16 points and above: Full blown Maidzilla. Everything in life SHOULD be about you and you hate to share the spotlight with the bride. You feel that the bride doesn't deserve all this attention. Jealousy oozes out of every one of your pores. You are a bad friend. Don't be surprized if the bride and groom and some of your friends never speak to you after the wedding. You need a serious attitude adjustment. The wedding is going to happen regardless of your feelings. Either be a part of it or bow out before you lose all sense of dignity.

If you've got the title, you may as well get the tee shirt.
Visit the Weddingzilla Tee shirt shop for humorous wedding tees.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Free Best Man Speech

Free Best Man Speech

The internet is full of advice for the best man looking for ideas for a free best man speech. I've spent days reading everything I could find on best man speeches. Much of what I found may very well be a guide of what NOT to say at the wedding reception.

The best man's speech is traditional at the reception and it can send any grown man into a stammering, heart pounding, palm sweating mess. But with some preparation and thought, it could be the hit of the reception and something the couple will remember every time they think of their wedding.

The best man's speech is a prelude to the traditional wedding toast to the couple, convey a message about your relationship to the couple, and thank the families for hosting the reception.

What not to say:

  • Don't try to be witty and make disparaging remarks about marriage. No one liners like: Marriage is a 4 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffer-ring and endue-ring. The couple and their families won't appreciate it.
  • No off color stories. Grandma and both bride and groom's families will be in attendance.
  • No embarrassing stories of the bride or groom. It's their special day. They don't need to be reminded of something they'd rather forget.
  • No stories of ex girlfriends or boyfriends.
  • No frat party stories or kegger stories.

What to say:

  • Talk about your relationship with the groom. "We met in grade school and have been best friends ever since". Share some funny, G rated stories of growing up, or college or of a road trip.
  • Talk about meeting his bride. How you just knew that she was the one for him. How they complete each other as a couple. How they've overcome obstacles and made it together.
  • Talk about their common interests and their goals for the future.
  • Thank the families for hosting the wedding, if they are indeed the wedding hosts.
  • Thank the guests for joining the couple in celebrating on one of the happiest days of their lives.
  • Speak from the heart. If you are the best man, you are probably his brother or best friend. Tell the couple you love them both and wish them the best that life has to offer. Use phrases like "May you be more in love in the future than you are today." "May your life be full of sunshine and happiness."

Don't ramble on, keep it short, keep it simple.

Stand up, speak to the crowd and be prepared. Practice your speech before the wedding. Take a deep breath before you speak to relax. If you need note cards, use note cards.

Look at the couple while you are speaking, but when it's time to toast, look out to the crowd and ask them to raise their glasses to the new Mr and Mrs.

Raise your glass, ask the crowd to join in and make your toast. "May you live long in health and love". "May your life together be long and prosperous and full of enduring love". You get the idea. For more help on putting together your best man speech, Click Here!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Britney Seeks 50 truths...

Britney, Sit down darlin'...we need to talk and we need to talk NOW.

This is for your own good. You don't need to buy a book to find truths. I'm going to tell you about something called common sense.

First of all, do you have a fashion stylist? If you do, fire that person right now.

Look directly in the mirror, Brit. You look like you rolled out of a double wide after a wild weekend of moonshine and karaoke. That bag lady look doesn't suit you. And please, remove the price tags before you wear them. We know you have more money than we do and we don't really care how much you paid. None of us would be caught dead in that get up anyway.

Winter boots are not to be worn in LA in the summer. Have you ever seen
winter? You need these boots to navigate the snow. When we common sense people see someone wearing insulated boots in the summer in LA, all we can do is smack our foreheads and exclaim WTF? We all want to know: Why do you cover you lower legs when your tush is hanging out?

Daisy duke shorts only work in your home state.

Stop dressing like a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog model. Geeze we all know you have a great body. Why dress like a madame when you can afford to look sexy AND classy?

We know you are wearing hair extensions...but the hat? Are you having a Sinatra moment? Why not take out the extensions, punk out your hair and look like a rocker instead of looking like someone who needs a hair style intervention?

We've taken the liberty to print up t shirts that say "Kevin has the kids tonight." We won't have to wonder if some nanny is taking care of the kids while you schlep around LA trying to get photographed by the paparazzi. Or when you are out until dawn dancing in some club. If you have the tee on letting us know the kids are OK, we'll all sleep better. We're here to help you, we've made some up for you ... just click here!

Brit, we thought of this just for you.

Kids are a gift..not a right. There are so many people who would cut off their right arm to have 2 beautiful children like yours. Stay home and take care of them. Kids grow up so fast. You can't buy back the time. Play with them, its more of a kick than having a flash bulb go off in your face or partying until sunrise.

Make up with your mom. Someday you'll understand. Your feud is so Lindsay Lohan. She may actually have something to say that is worth listening to, ya know?

We all want to believe you are a nice girl, er, young woman. We remember you on the Mickey Mouse club. Stop drinking. Get a new circle of advisers who have your best interest at heart before you blow through all your cash, your reputation and your new chance to make a living. Then...take their advice. Its not easy growing up.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Thirty Day Challenge

I seem to be constantly getting myself into something or other. I can never just have one project on the back burner, I seem to do better with like 10 projects cooking at the same time.

I decided to enroll in the 30 day challenge, a chance to learn internet marketing from the real pros. Since I am on the internet when I'm not helping my customers, why the heck not try it? I sure could use real information that will help my web site. I'm sure my husband would prefer I spend time with him, but this is a real challenge for me. Since I'm ultra competitive, I have to finish. The husband can barely turn on the computer, so he's not going to be my partner in this endeavor.

My head is spinning. I've downloaded, watched videos and sat transfixed at all the information.
How much information can one human take in before their head explodes? Just wondering....