How to deal with a Bridezilla

Don't let this be you!

I've met a lot of Bridezilla's. Some I never want to see again. Some were very sweet gals who just had a moment. A Zilla needs to be stopped in their tracks. She needs to solve her real or perceived problem before she's totally out of control and leaves no one standing in her wake.

Bridezilla wants everything to be perfect. No wedding is perfect, nothing is perfect. Things can and will go wrong. No one will ever notice the small details at the wedding that you believe is horribly wrong. Trust me on this, I've been in the wedding business for 30 years.

Bridezilla NEEDS to be in complete charge of every detail. It's not about the wedding, its about the marriage. If you spend all your time focusing on the wedding and not the groom, its a red flag that you are more interested in going through the process of wedding planning than being married to that man. Step back and reassess your priorities. Could it be you really don't want to get married? Or you don't want to marry him?

It's not all about you. It's also about the groom, your family and friends. Yes, its your day, but its not all about you. It's not the time to one up your friends and their weddings. Its not a time to show off and have a "better" wedding. A wedding is a ceremony and a party. Period.

How to deal with your Bridezilla:

• Nicely let them know that you've noticed there is a problem and their behavior is making it difficult for others around her. Let them know you are there for them and you are there to help. Define the problem and set up a plan to solve the problem. Do NOT join her in a rant against a tux store, caterer, etc. Don't allow yourself to get sucked into her battles.

  
  

• A Bridezilla needs reassurance. She may be insecure and she may feel helpless. She needs you to let her know that everything will be fine, that she made the right wedding choices and that her first impulses are correct. When she starts second guessing herself, jokingly tell her to snap out of it or you'll buy her the t shirt.

• Offer to help her with her wedding chores. It may be just a matter of helping her get organized. My experience shows that a lot of disorganized brides are Bridezilla's because they are stressed.

• Have a long heart to heart talk. Ask her why she is so upset and lashing out at people. You can sometimes diffuse a Bridezilla by just talking her down and reassuring her. Let her know you love her and that you support her. Sympathize with her. She may just be so stressed out that she blows up.

  
  

• Offer to spend time with her so she can destress and get away from wedding planning. A yoga class, a walk in the park, a massage at a salon, going to a chick flick matinee, a girls night out, lunch, a day trip, shopping, etc. Rule number one, no wedding talk.

  
  

• Speak to her fiance, but do NOT accuse her of being a Bridezilla! Let him know in a nonaccussing way that she's stressed over the wedding and hatch a plan with him to take her away from wedding planning stress. It could be something like a picnic in the park or a trip to a nearby beach.

  
  

• As a last resort, suggest she visit her doctor and discuss her anxiety. It is abnormal to be completely stressed out 24/7. Some anxiety is normal, but when its out of control, please get your friend to talk to her doctor.
  

If you are wondering if YOU could be a Bridezila, take the test and find out!

Destination Weddings

A destination wedding is any wedding away from home. It used to be called eloping. The couple snuck away and came home married. No big deal. But times have changed and destination weddings are the hot new trend in weddings.

Today not only do the bride and groom go away, they take the wedding, family and friends with them!

The couple needs to first choose the location. Is your paradise wedding exchanging vows at a beach at sunset? A mountain cabin? A cruise ship? A wedding chapel in Las Vegas with Elvis officiating? A sophisticated and elegant Las Vegas wedding in a hotel chapel? A castle in Europe? A meadow in the forest? A hotel or condo on the beach? A resort in the Caribbean?
Decide the formality of the ceremony. Do you want a traditional wedding in a nontraditional setting? Or do you want a relaxed, casual atmosphere? Do you want a reception or a beach barbeque?Dinner at a restaurant? Or a catered lunch at a beach condo?

You next need to choose a date. Keep in mind that the date and place should be announced well enough in advance so that your family and friends can make travel and financial arrangements to attend. Keep them in the loop.

Find out the legal requirements for marrying. You can search the internet for the answers or use the wedding planner at your destination as most hotels and chapels have full time wedding planners. Or, you can hire a planner in the area to answer all your questions and guide you through the maze of information. Save yourself the stress and hire a professional so you don't have to spend your wedding day tending to details.

Make sure you have a licenced officiant to perform the ceremony.

Get familiar with the area. If you are marrying on the beach, make sure the tide is out at the time of the ceremony. And if you are marrying on the beach, have a plan B in case of rain. Your best times for a wedding are early morning or early evening when the family beach crowd isn't gawking at you. It also isn't as hot as the noon day early afternoon sun.
If your guests are accompanying you, remember your wedding is probably their vacation and allow them to enjoy themselves. After the ceremony, you and your groom will want to be alone!

The earlier you start planning, you'll find the best travel deals. You'll pay more for a last minute flight.

For more tips on destination weddings, please visit my web site www.beachbride2be.com