Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Top 10 Reasons He's Just Not Into You

Ok, you think he's the "ONE". But he's just not into you.
Here's a list of the the top 10 reasons he might be drifting away.

#10. You are more high maintenance than his SUV. And with the price of gas, one of you has to go. This is a no brainer, guys always pick their ride. Solution: Either become less expensive or hitch a ride with a guy who drives a hybrid.

#9 His friends don't like you. Solution: You can do one of two things, date his friends so they like you or ditch him. Any guy who chooses his friends over his lady is too immature to be a relationship.

#8 He'd rather watch sports or play golf than be with you. Dancing naked in front of a tv isn't helping get his attention. A true sports fanatic will ask you to move away from the tv screen. Solution: Become a true fan, learn the sport and date a player. They have more money anyway, and you'll get to travel to some of the away games. Or, learn the sport, get a cheerleader uniform, sit and cheer with him and learn to pour a beer without the foam. Or learn to golf. There are some really cute golf outfits and you'll get some sun and beer.

#7 His mother doesn't like you. Solution: Get a pair of good running shoes and run in the other direction. He's a momma's boy and we all know about momma's boy. If in doubt, read Dear Abby while you are running away!

#6 He's always playing games..the video games. Solution: Become a gamer and get better than him. His ego may be crushed, but he'll brag about your prowess to all his online nerdy friends.

#5 He's always finding fault with you. Solution: Let him find out what life is all about WITHOUT you.

#4 He spends more time checking out other chicks than paying attention to you in public. Solution: Flirt around with some of the other guys in close proximity. If this doesn't make you more desirable, seriously check out the other guys in his presence. Remarks like "that guy has a great butt" should get a reaction. If it doesn't, kick him to the curb..he's just not into you.

#3 He spends too much time texting. He'll eventually get Blackberry thumb and need medical care. Solution: Go into the other room and send him naughty text messages and wait for a response. If that doesn't work, let him sleep with his Blackberry. He's probably texting some other girl anyway.

#2. He'd rather go clothes shopping with you than make love. Solution: He's probably gay, so make him your best friend and take all his fashion and hair advice. He'll be your truest friend and who doesn't need a true friend?

#1 He's just not into you. He's a total jerk and your friends hate him. Solution: Cry to all of your friends, call him every name in the book and move on.
Keep in mind what goes around comes around..and there's a great someone waiting for you.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Rosie O'Donnell ...why is she so hated?

It happened again, Rosie is posted all over the web and the tabloid TV shows. This time its the split screen showdown on the View that did her in. She was in the ultimate cat fight with Elizabeth Hasselbeck over the troops and the war. Again. Now, Rosie is stepping away from the View before her contract is over.

Which brings up my question...why is Rosie so hated by the media?
Is it because she is plus size? Gay? Out spoken? Against the war? All of the above?

And why is Elizabeth so loved? Is it because she is an attractive straight blonde? Pro Republican and the administration? A hawk in the war? Married to a football player? Pregnant? All of the above?

So why do I care?

In defense of Rosie, she has done an amazing amount of work for children. Check out charity work: Wicki Rosie's All For Children . Rosie's For All Kids Foundation, confirmed that $50 million from her five-year contract with the Rosie O'Donnell Show were donated in a trust to charity that is irrevocable.
She also started "Rosie's Broadway Kids" that will give free singing and dance lessons to New York City public school children.

I watched the videos of her cat fight with Elizabeth, all I could think of is...Rosie has the facts. Its a fact innocent people are loosing their lives on both sides of the war. Women, children, moms, dads, grandparents, uncles, aunts, sweethearts...what did they do to deserve it? And why doesn't the administration see how many people want the war to STOP? There has to be a better way. What happened to diplomacy? Rosie speaks out her conscience and she gets skewered. I wonder if it were someone gorgeous like Sandra Bullock or Sharon Stone said the same thing, if the reaction to the remarks would be the same. I doubt it. They probably would be considered a modern day heroine.

Rosie spoke her mind. She's never backed down from controversy. The last time I checked, we were still allowed to express our opinion via the first amendment. So why did the media fry Rosie for her opinion and not Elizabeth? Could it be because Elizabeth is so cute and petite and Rosie is so loud and gay? Lets face it, more women look like Rosie than Elizabeth.

Oh, lets not forget the Trumpster. Donald got a lot of mileage and free publicity for his TV show by putting his combed over countenance in every news camera and trouncing Rosie. He also made disparaging remarks about his friend, Barbara Walters. But he gets back into the ring and trounces Elizabeth and defends Rosie. WTF??

Donald says: "Well I am obnoxious, so on that she's right I must say but, y'know, Elisabeth is not a very smart person, she's one of the dumber people in television. To see that she supports the war, and she's solidly behind the war, give me a break. This one, I think, Rosie should win, but Rosie's not much herself… I think anybody who's against the war in Iraq is the winner in this fight because, to justify the war in Iraq, only an imbecile could do that."

To which most of us say...who cares about his opinion? And in defense of Elizabeth, I don't believe she is one of the dumbest people on tv. Hello, Paris Hilton.

When two passionate women come to verbal blows, one has to emerge the winner. I don't think there is a winner or a looser in the case. There are the facts. And the facts as I see them is that war is unpopular with the American people that we want our troops home...now. We want them home healthy and safe. The troops are our children, our grandchildren, our nieces and nephews, our brothers, sisters, cousins and best friends. They are young people, some not able to vote yet, and others are the parents of children old enough to know their parent is in danger. These are HUMAN beings. God bless every one of them...just please bring them home.

I support the troops 150% and not the war. Isn't that what Rosie has been saying?

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Bridesmaids are Strippers!

I've met a lot of interesting people. My friends call me a wacko magnet. If there is a wacko within 10 miles, I cross paths with them.

I wasn't prepared when the motley crew of gals walked into the bridal shop with two kids in tow. They looked exhausted and haggered. One was wearing false eyelashes at 10 AM. They all looked like they could use a strong cup of Starbucks and a bath. They were dressed in cami tops and sweat pants and we could see more tattoos than average peeking out of their clothes. Were these biker chicks?

They were tough talking broads, nothing sweet or feminine about them. They complained of sore feet and aching calf muscles. Still, nothing rang a bell. They are customers and we treat everyone alike. But there was something strange about their bodies. Really strange, almost unnatural. They didn't have great bodies, but they had great breasts. And as a woman who has dressed women for years....they didn't look natural. Every one had breast implants!! Still no clue.

Now comes the hard part. We couldn't fit their tops into any of the dress styles. They kept popping out somewhere. And they all wanted low cut sexy halter tops. They were popping out of the top AND the sides. I wish I could say it was a good look. It wasn't. It wasn't sexy, it wasn't a look for a wedding. It was a challenge.

And the challenge continued after the dresses arrived. The seamstress tried to tailor the tops to fit them properly, but she was afraid a misplaced pin might pop their implants. She fretted.

While the seamstress is doing a fitting, one of the gals starts telling her that they are all professional dancers. The seamstress is a sweet grandma, she envisioned them on "Dancing With The Stars". She asked them if they are in dance competitions. That's when the lightbulb went off....OMG....they're strippers!!! We had to explain their dancing to her. ;) She took it much better than we thought she would, even ending up hugging them.

We managed to make our dance troup look presentable. One ended up missing the wedding because she wasn't able to make bail on a drug rap.

And guess what shoes they wore for the wedding? Yup, those clear platform striper shoes. I really would love to see the wedding photos. I can only imagine the look on the groom's mothers face...priceless!

Destination Weddings

A destination wedding is any wedding away from home. It used to be called eloping. The couple snuck away and came home married. No big deal. But times have changed and destination weddings are the hot new trend in weddings.

Today not only do the bride and groom go away, they take the wedding, family and friends with them!

The couple needs to first choose the location. Is your paradise wedding exchanging vows at a beach at sunset? A mountain cabin? A cruise ship? A wedding chapel in Las Vegas with Elvis officiating? A sophisticated and elegant Las Vegas wedding in a hotel chapel? A castle in Europe? A meadow in the forest? A hotel or condo on the beach? A resort in the Caribbean?
Decide the formality of the ceremony. Do you want a traditional wedding in a nontraditional setting? Or do you want a relaxed, casual atmosphere? Do you want a reception or a beach barbeque?Dinner at a restaurant? Or a catered lunch at a beach condo?

You next need to choose a date. Keep in mind that the date and place should be announced well enough in advance so that your family and friends can make travel and financial arrangements to attend. Keep them in the loop.

Find out the legal requirements for marrying. You can search the internet for the answers or use the wedding planner at your destination as most hotels and chapels have full time wedding planners. Or, you can hire a planner in the area to answer all your questions and guide you through the maze of information. Save yourself the stress and hire a professional so you don't have to spend your wedding day tending to details.

Make sure you have a licenced officiant to perform the ceremony.

Get familiar with the area. If you are marrying on the beach, make sure the tide is out at the time of the ceremony. And if you are marrying on the beach, have a plan B in case of rain. Your best times for a wedding are early morning or early evening when the family beach crowd isn't gawking at you. It also isn't as hot as the noon day early afternoon sun.
If your guests are accompanying you, remember your wedding is probably their vacation and allow them to enjoy themselves. After the ceremony, you and your groom will want to be alone!

The earlier you start planning, you'll find the best travel deals. You'll pay more for a last minute flight.

For more tips on destination weddings, please visit my web site www.beachbride2be.com

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Las Vegas Weddings, Getting Your Marriage License

Are you planning a Las Vegas wedding? Las Vegas is the wedding capital of the USA, even attracting visitors from other countries.

What you need for a Las Vegas marriage licence:

  • Identification: The following may be used for identification:
  • Driver's License or State-issued I.D. card.
  • Original or Certified copy of Birth Certificate.
  • Foreign Birth Certificate must be translated into English and notarized.
  • Passport.
  • Military Identification.
  • Resident alien card.

No Blood test is required.

$55.00 in cash for the licence fee

You must be 18 years of age.

If you are marrying at a hotel or wedding chapel, your wedding coordinator will help you make your arrangements to obtain your marriage license. Its considered part of their service.

For more information, visit http://www.beachbride2be.com/page2html

The Eco Friendly Wedding

If a bride came into my shop and said she was having a green wedding, I would assume green was her wedding color. I might have asked her " What shade are you looking for?" Its not that I'm clueless...I just didn't know that the eco friendly green movement has trickled down to weddings.

My first impulse would be to replace the paper plates with china. But it goes way beyond that. I just recently read some articles to show its a growing trend. And the couples that are having a green wedding are dead serious about it.

The article mentioned an enviornmentally correct wedding gown. Well, I've been selling dresses for 30 years and I'm an expert in the field...and I have NO CLUE what is environmentally correct wedding dress may be. Is it made of hemp? Cotton? Silk? Can someone clue me in please?

The article also mentioned rings cast by a jeweler that has a social conscience. Aren't all gold and gems recycled in some way? I don't know of any woman who would deliberately discard her gems and gold...we melt them down into something that is more of a current style. Are they referring to blood diamonds?

I do know about the invitations on hemp or recycled papers. I'm not familiar with tree less paper. The recycled paper invitations are just as pretty as nongreen invitations.

The articles all had one concensus: Most green weddings take place outside in nature or on the beach.

I totally need to research this phenomenon. I'm all for green...whether ecologically or color. Green is good. Saving the environment is good. I'm off to do some research. And if anyone can help me out with additional information, please let me know.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Are You a Bridezilla? Take the Test!

The media has a field day with the term "Bridezilla". Until it word became popular, we had an entirely different name for that type of bride. Use your imagination. ;)

Bridezilla: Myth or reality?

The bridezilla phenomenon is largely media created. Most brides are sweet, excited and deliriously happy. The few that aren't are called Bridezilla's. Bridezilla's are few and far between, but the media has made it seem that its OK to behave badly. To see if you are a Bridezilla take the test below.

How to tell if you are a Bridezilla...the Bridezilla test

  • Is the wedding all about me?

  • Do I feel entitled to special treatment from everyone because I'm getting married?

  • Do I obsess about every detail of the wedding and have trouble making decisions? Am I changing my mind and second guessing every decision I've make?

  • Do I talk about my wedding 24/7?

  • Do I spend hours online chatting and comparing notes with other brides?

  • Are my friends avoiding me because "its all about me"?

  • Is my fiance sick of hearing about the wedding?

  • Are I focusing on the wedding instead of the marriage?

  • Am I having temper tantrums and anxiety attacks?

  • Do I expect perfectionism in every aspect of my wedding?

  • Do I expect a huge shower, a bachelorette party, etc?

  • Am I in the "gimme gimme I want good gifts" mode?

  • Do I spend hours looking at my online wedding registry to see what's been purchased?

  • Am I lashing out at my mother, fiance, bridesmaids and friends?

  • Can I do two hours on my wedding hairdo and makeup until my friends want to scream?

  • Am I bossing around the wedding party? The staff at the bridal salon? The reception coordinator?

  • Do I demand to have everything my own way?

  • Am I dictating hair styles, mani and pedi's and the same makeup for my maids?

  • Am I complaining about my bridesmaids to everyone who will listen?

  • Has any member of the wedding party stepped down due to my behavior?

  • Am I telling my fiance that all the groomsmen MUST have a fresh shave and a haircut?

  • Do you insist your wedding has to be better than a cousin, a friend's etc?

  • Are you arguing with everyone from your fiance to your parents to your bridesmaids?

If you answer yes to 5 or less questions: You aren't a Bridezilla. Some wedding anxiety is normal. You need to step back and relax with your fiance. Take a few days off from wedding planning. Take a deep breath, it will all work out fine. Nothing is perfect and no one will be the wiser if something goes wrong.

If you answer yes to 6 to 10 questions...you are on your way to becoming a Bridezilla. Its time to reevaluate this wedding and marriage. Are you in love with your fiance or in love with the idea of getting married? Time to get a grip and get a clue and relax a bit. Its a wedding, its about the two of you. The rest is just a party.

If you answer yes to 11 or more questions, you are a full blown Bridezilla. Time for a major attitude adjustment and its time to make amends to everyone you've alienated during the planning process. Do you really want to get married? What is making you so unhappy? Work on what's really bothering you and the rest will fall into place. No one wants to be Bridezilla and no one wants to be around a Bridezilla. Someone is liable to tell your fiance what you are all about in Bridezilla mode, buy him a pair of track shoes and tell him to run! Don't let it happen to you, take a deep breath and reaccess your priorities.

What is normal wedding behavior?

  • To be excited and focused on the wedding and marriage.

  • To have dreams of wedding disasters like walking down the aisle in the wrong dress, or walking down the aisle naked or that no guests show up.

  • To include your friends and family in the fun and planning. While your friends are part of the celebration, your wedding not the focus of THEIR life.

  • To think about your wedding 24/7, just don't talk about it 24/7.

  • To have fleeting moments of second guessing and indecision. I always tell my customers, a bad decision is better than no decision.
  • To occasionally compare notes online with other brides and check your online registry. When this becomes an obsession, it signals trouble.

  • To practice different makeup and hair styles, but when you have to try each one with your wedding dress, its becoming a problem.
  • To realize that the wedding is about you and your husband starting a life together. The reception is just a big party!
  • To want things perfect, but have the common sense to know that nothing is perfect.

Feel free to share you Bridezilla stories and I may even share some of the more unique ones here.

The Bridezilla test is copyright by www.beachbride2be.com . Feel free to link to this site to share it with your friends!