Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Top 10 Reasons He's Just Not Into You

Ok, you think he's the "ONE". But he's just not into you.
Here's a list of the the top 10 reasons he might be drifting away.

#10. You are more high maintenance than his SUV. And with the price of gas, one of you has to go. This is a no brainer, guys always pick their ride. Solution: Either become less expensive or hitch a ride with a guy who drives a hybrid.

#9 His friends don't like you. Solution: You can do one of two things, date his friends so they like you or ditch him. Any guy who chooses his friends over his lady is too immature to be a relationship.

#8 He'd rather watch sports or play golf than be with you. Dancing naked in front of a tv isn't helping get his attention. A true sports fanatic will ask you to move away from the tv screen. Solution: Become a true fan, learn the sport and date a player. They have more money anyway, and you'll get to travel to some of the away games. Or, learn the sport, get a cheerleader uniform, sit and cheer with him and learn to pour a beer without the foam. Or learn to golf. There are some really cute golf outfits and you'll get some sun and beer.

#7 His mother doesn't like you. Solution: Get a pair of good running shoes and run in the other direction. He's a momma's boy and we all know about momma's boy. If in doubt, read Dear Abby while you are running away!

#6 He's always playing games..the video games. Solution: Become a gamer and get better than him. His ego may be crushed, but he'll brag about your prowess to all his online nerdy friends.

#5 He's always finding fault with you. Solution: Let him find out what life is all about WITHOUT you.

#4 He spends more time checking out other chicks than paying attention to you in public. Solution: Flirt around with some of the other guys in close proximity. If this doesn't make you more desirable, seriously check out the other guys in his presence. Remarks like "that guy has a great butt" should get a reaction. If it doesn't, kick him to the curb..he's just not into you.

#3 He spends too much time texting. He'll eventually get Blackberry thumb and need medical care. Solution: Go into the other room and send him naughty text messages and wait for a response. If that doesn't work, let him sleep with his Blackberry. He's probably texting some other girl anyway.

#2. He'd rather go clothes shopping with you than make love. Solution: He's probably gay, so make him your best friend and take all his fashion and hair advice. He'll be your truest friend and who doesn't need a true friend?

#1 He's just not into you. He's a total jerk and your friends hate him. Solution: Cry to all of your friends, call him every name in the book and move on.
Keep in mind what goes around comes around..and there's a great someone waiting for you.

No comments: