Friday, May 25, 2007

The Bridesmaids are Strippers!

I've met a lot of interesting people. My friends call me a wacko magnet. If there is a wacko within 10 miles, I cross paths with them.

I wasn't prepared when the motley crew of gals walked into the bridal shop with two kids in tow. They looked exhausted and haggered. One was wearing false eyelashes at 10 AM. They all looked like they could use a strong cup of Starbucks and a bath. They were dressed in cami tops and sweat pants and we could see more tattoos than average peeking out of their clothes. Were these biker chicks?

They were tough talking broads, nothing sweet or feminine about them. They complained of sore feet and aching calf muscles. Still, nothing rang a bell. They are customers and we treat everyone alike. But there was something strange about their bodies. Really strange, almost unnatural. They didn't have great bodies, but they had great breasts. And as a woman who has dressed women for years....they didn't look natural. Every one had breast implants!! Still no clue.

Now comes the hard part. We couldn't fit their tops into any of the dress styles. They kept popping out somewhere. And they all wanted low cut sexy halter tops. They were popping out of the top AND the sides. I wish I could say it was a good look. It wasn't. It wasn't sexy, it wasn't a look for a wedding. It was a challenge.

And the challenge continued after the dresses arrived. The seamstress tried to tailor the tops to fit them properly, but she was afraid a misplaced pin might pop their implants. She fretted.

While the seamstress is doing a fitting, one of the gals starts telling her that they are all professional dancers. The seamstress is a sweet grandma, she envisioned them on "Dancing With The Stars". She asked them if they are in dance competitions. That's when the lightbulb went off....OMG....they're strippers!!! We had to explain their dancing to her. ;) She took it much better than we thought she would, even ending up hugging them.

We managed to make our dance troup look presentable. One ended up missing the wedding because she wasn't able to make bail on a drug rap.

And guess what shoes they wore for the wedding? Yup, those clear platform striper shoes. I really would love to see the wedding photos. I can only imagine the look on the groom's mothers face...priceless!

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